Hello there,
I hope everything in your world is going well. In my neck of the woods, the days are very slowly getting longer - although on some days you don’t notice because the clouds are a heavy grey colour, blocking any kind of lightness.
In my last newsletter I talked about pondering my Word of the Year. It’s a process I’ve gone throuhg the past few years, giving focus and direction, as well as the opportunity for reflection.
This year my word is Curiosity.
It kind of surprised me. I sometimes have an idea of what I’d like the word to be, but I’ve found it’s better to open myself up, listen, then it comes - usually in the form of reading about it, hearing about it, and seeing it everywhere. And it happened exactly like that this year. ‘Curiosity’ was on repeat - everywhere - for about a week, so I embraced it!
Brené Brown’s definition of curiosity is ‘recognising a gap in our knowledge about something that interests us, and becoming emotionally and cognitively invested in closing that gap through exploration and learning.’ (from Atlas of the Heart) I’ve always considered myself a curious person. I love learning new things - I’m an avid reader, an educator, I try new ways of expressing my creativity. So this resonated! (And was the third time in two days ‘curiosity’ in some form had crossed my path.)
What I really love about Brown’s further explanation of curiosity is the head-heart connection. Interest is a head investment, she explains. Curiosity is when the head and heart are both invested in closing the gap - it becomes almost a whole body experience. There is both intellectual pleasure and an emotional experience in closing the knowledge gap. How wonderful! Have you had that feeling? It’s almost like your body tingles in anticipation of finding out something new. A little like Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic feeling.
So what am I going to get curious about? Life. The universe. Me. Just for a start. I’ll be getting curious about my head and heart connection and where my body fits in. I’ll be getting curious about new ideas, new ways of thinking, new ways of approaching problems and sticky issues - including a course in Human Systems Dynamics. I read 77 books in 2021 so I’ve made my 2022 goal 80 books.
I’ll be asking questions (like “Why are there so many religious holidays here?” and “How does one walk properly when it’s icy?”), I’ll be trying new things (new recipes, new creative outlets), I’ll be keeping an open mind.
Curiosity Didn’t Kill The Cat
It really didn’t. And it does a great disservice to the wonderful feelings of joy you can feel if you follow your curiosity and learn new things. This proverb/warning/old way of seeing the world, is all about control - of information and behaviour. It means, “don’t go poking your nose into other people’s business, don’t be overly inquisitive of it will get you into trouble.” Sure, maybe don’t become a neighbourhood PI, rummaging through other people’s rubbish on the hunt for something juicy. But do foster the wonderful head/heart connection that curiosity brings!
We have the whole world in the palm of our hands now - no more looking up things in the dusty, multi-volumned encyclopedias that someone in the family bought from a travelling salesman in the 1960s. We can search for anything now - where the latest series we’re watching is filmed, where can we hire a narrow boat to travel the canals of the UK, how long Boris Johnson lived in Australia and whether he is actually intelligent, a 24-hour vidoe stream of a canal in Venice, how much snow they got at Falls Creek, Australia, in the winter of 1989. Anything you want! Including bigger things like the latest neuroscience research, the brain-gut connection, the benefits of mindfulness and meditation… the list goes on.
What this does highlight is the need for some kind of intriguing lead information to pique your curiosity (and as a teacher, this is the gold dust!). You can train yourself to be more curious. By asking questions when things in life pop up that you don’t have much information on. Keeping open. It’s about interest leading to curiosity. (This is backed by Brown’s research, btw!)
Brown’s research also she suggests that “choosing to be curious is choosing to be vulnerable because it requires us to surrender to uncertainty.” This, as we all have experienced over the past two years, can lead to discomfort. And that’s hard to sit with if you don’t have a circle of trust around you, or trust in yourself that you’ll survive the potential pain and discomfort.
How do we admit to not knowing something? By saying it. Being honest. Being vulnerable. Yes, it’s tricky and sometimes icky. But isn’t curiosity something that reminds us we’re alive? As Brown says, we can lose our curiosity because we learn that too much vulnerability can lead to hurt - we choose “certainty over curiosity, armor over vulnerability, knowing over learning.” The shutting down comes with a price.
Feeling the discomfort, leaning into the vulnerablity, and reminding ourselves that it will pass, helps us grow - emotionally, creatively, intellectually. (Lisa Bolin)
So the cat never died from curiosity. No one did, not really. I mean, the Darwin Award Winners weren’t curious, just lacking a self-preservation instinct. (Curious? Google it. Terrifying.) Curiosity is a wonderful trait and state. It’s the magical feeling of closing the gap in learning something new. It’s a whole body experience. It’s also linked to Awe, Wonder, Interest and Surprise (also Confusion, but that’s okay too). Don’t we all need more of these things in our lives?
How will you be curious this year?
Lisa x
Other things:
I highly recommend buying, reading, and filling Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown with post-it notes. It’s fabulous!
I’m currently reading Atomic Habits by James Clear, Immunity to Change by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey, The Selected Poems of Hafiz, and Rumi’s Book of Poetry. Two non-fiction that are closely related (one is for my course), and two poets whose words transcend translation and time. Each pair is a lovely contrast.
I just finished a library book called Wakenhyrst by Michelle Paver. It was a fabulous gothic novel - a little creepy, well written, characters that you cheered for and others you perhaps hoped might get their just desserts. Worth checking out if this is your thing.
If you haven’t heard of Dr Kristen Neff, I highly recommend a visit to check out her work at Self-Compassion. She’s a leader in mindfulness and self-compassion and her newsletters are gentle, infrequent, and usually quite timely.
I like to explore other people’s blogs/experiments on this platform (Substack). I found Jolene who has Time Travel Kitchen. She makes recipes from old cookbooks! It’s actually amazing. Over Christmas she made biscuits aka cookies from an old Swedish cookbook (the English translation) that my mother-in-law still has!
Love poetry? Join us for an International Women’s Poetry Reading. On Saturday 29th January, settle in via Zoom with your own poems or a few of your favourites and share them live with a group of women from all over the world. Details and registration here.
Book Chats are back! I’ll be hosting the Garden of Neuro Institute Book Chat again this year! Yay! We’ll be meeting via Zoom every second Wednesday, starting on January 26th at 10 am EET, 7 pm AEST. WE chat about whatever book you’re currently reading, books you’ve loved, ideas, authors, writing, death, life. All sorts! Let me know if you’d like to join by replying to this email.
One Mind Book Club: Would you like to join in a deep dive into four amazing books with a group of women from all over the world? Join us in January-March for an in-depth look at Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Noah Yuval Harari. Let me know if you’d like to join by replying to this email - and you’ll get our free reading guide. (Supported by The Garden of Neuro Institute)
What a great word. I love curiosity. For me, it leans much more to the second part of what you describe than to the need of closing a knowledge gap. To me, curiosity is about being open to the world, wanting to know about the other without judgement, discovering connections and celebrating differences (and learning from them). It's for me very much about building empathy.
Great post. And very nice to read about your Book Chat and the poetry reading. Hope they bring you lots of joy, and make you curious for more.
Oh wow, we are reading so many of the same things! Atlas of the Heart (and really, I listen to and read every single thing Brené Brown puts out), Atomic Habits and Kristin Neff. Curiosity has come up for me in every path I've taken on the "how to live with anxiety path". It's the core of the "Unwinding Anxiety" app I've been using for a year (I started with the book). Now I'm reading "Tracking Wonder" and it's also interesting (with curiosity being one of his key facets of experiencing wonder). He has a phrase: "open up, don't size up". I am really trying to notice when I'm contracting and bring curiosity (and not analysis!) to myself or the situation or the other person.
I'm curious about your book club too! I'm reading "Braiding Sweetgrass" right now.