Growth, Expansion, and New Connections
LIfe echoing seasons
Spring has sprung! Just as I thought it might never happen, sunny days have rolled in, complete with clear blue skies and singing birds. The air has warmed—enough that I’ve even worn a T-shirt outside! It’s been a while, I can tell you!
It’s been an interesting week. I spent several days feeling really flat, low in energy, and the little voice in my head gave me a thrashing. I took time to remind myself that the voice is not me; breathing, landing in my body, being in the now helping me get through these periods. Sitting with it doesn’t feel great but coming out the other side can be exhilarating.
Like the spring plants and flowers emerging after a cold winter, we too can emerge from days where it seems like we’re in the mud. It’s the messy, difficult, bleak times that allow us to flourish and grow.
These difficult, muddy times seem to go in cycles too like your breath and lungs, we expand and contract, and if we stay open, curious, and connected to our bodies each time we emerge we’re more expansive than before.
Watching spring emerge is a reminder that what can seem dormant is able to burst with life and vitality in the right environment and situation. And not everything thrives everywhere. Finding the right environment, that special mix, can take time and patience.
Since saying goodbye to my daughter, starting my new job nearly two weeks ago, and working on building my mindfulness business, I’ve keenly felt the contraction and expansion. Absorbing so many new things in both my work situations has led to a few days of contraction—much-needed rest as I climbed out of the mud.
Life has expanded this week! The amazing weather has undoubtedly helped—trees growing leaves over a day is a sight to behold! Birch trees are using all their energy, bright green leaves exploding from their delicate branches.
Birds twitter, tweet, coo, and screech—such a beautiful cacophony after a silent winter. Cows mooing, cuckoos calling, the pheasant screeching for his mates, swans and geese honking. Nature’s symphony. New growth. Expanding animal families.
I’m currently sitting by the water I got up early to drink in the sun, still water, and nature’s excitement at spring’s arrival. Gulls and terns are dipping into the water, catching breakfast swallows are chattering, like R2-D2, as they playfully swoop with their mates (hopefully not building nests in our boathouse!).
This week has also been one of new connections. I’ve joined a group called The Mother Lung, a place for women interested in Breathwork to gather, under the guidance of Leanna Bishop. I’ve known Leanna for a decade and she’s created a wonderful space that’s nurturing and supportive ~ new connections for a new season.
I’ve found myself expanding in mindset and attitude as I come out of myself, that contracted, protective state I needed, so I have the space to reconcile all the new experiences and feelings.
A new work colleague started this past week. A kindred spirit. She’s ten years older than me, turning 60 today, in fact. Over three days, we laughed, joked and shared stories of our lives in between visitors to the centre and the daily tasks that keep the place running. She enjoyed it so much she’s signed up for the whole summer and is talking about next year! I’ve felt a lightness in this workplace that I haven’t experienced in a long time, something I’ve really missed, I’ve realised.
My spring has started with optimism, openness and curiosity. Expansion and creativity. New friendships. Perfect conditions for growth.
As the air is filled with the optimistic sounds of birds, my spirit feels light, bright, and ready for the warmth and potential of the summer months. I am so very grateful I’ve developed the awareness of, and ability to slow down, breathe, and take stock of these moments. One after the other.
Stay well,
Lisa x
A very happy Mother’s Day to all of you who are mothers—to humans and animals alike. Mothering comes in many forms and this day gives all of us a chance to show gratitude for and reflect upon the mothers we’ve had in our lives, the mothering experience, and the role mothers play in society. Perhaps even a chance to question expectations—those we hold for ourselves and for others.
Big hugs and much love to my own amazing mother, who reads everything I write, encouraging me, nurturing me, supporting me in everything I do. She’s the most fabulous grandmother too.
I’m Listening
I haven’t had too much time to read with all the other stuff going on but my hour round-trip drive to and from work has given me time to listen to some podcasts. This episode of With Love, Danielle with Daniella LaPorte resonated strongly this week. Imagine if we all led with love!
I really connected to this! The last few weeks I regressed back to old thought patterns - the self punishing ones - and had to remind myself they are just background noise and not actually me.
Yes, I agree, no mud, no lutus. I had to think, take stock, and not keep worrying about things, but let them take time to get. It's taken me two weeks to get over a co-dependency I developed to replace the one I had with my Mom, as she would tell me how to think, say and do almost everything daily, til I grew wise and left. But that was not enough to deal with life on my terms, and I sub-consciously started depending on a close friend to do the same for me, even though I thought I was holding my own. Well, she became verbally abusive, and I finally grew wise to that. Recovering is like recovering from any fixation or abuse, even one of your own making. You can only replace it with what's right for you, and then you can start growing again.
I have really started to find some impetus or pep, I call it, as my Great Aunt Antoinette called it, after suffering a gelling time of hardly wanting to think about anything but the immediate environment. I didn't think that was good for me, and started to encourage myself in small ways.
That's what I find is my next steps now.
My personal expressions have started to flourish, so I am finally experiencing the start of the budding of my lotus on my own, instead of at the behest of somebody. That is so much fun and energy-building for its own sake.
I have really enjoyed the healing of my foot at the same time for better walks, and longer walks. Claire, our mixed pitbull-boxer, and I love to take walks. I am starting to take pictures of our flowers and wildflowers along the way. so much springtime for viewing! With it came an orchestrated cacophony of different species of birdsongs this year, as they gathered inside my attic soffit, which is separate from the rest of the house, thank God. Amen. I love the birds and that they have a safe place to nest. They won't be picked on by our crows and seagulls of the Detroit River here.
Maybe we will take a long ride and look for the eagles by Monroe, Grosse Ile, and Lake Erie. I have been gone 5 years, so I am hoping they have a family now. We have a big day planned for Mom's Day today.
The only movie I could find without fighting in it for adults, and not about a couple, is Book Club: The Next Chapter. The Preview looks good, so I am hoping.
I am really enjoying your Northern Notes, Lisa. I do all my sharing in the Writers' Circle and Poetry Circle of Garden of Neuro so far. Love reading these. Thanks.