The Gift of Being Present
Enjoying every moment as summer shines on
The last three weeks have been a true gift. My mum has been here, visiting from Australia after over two years of not being able to travel. Before she arrived I had decided to make the most of her time here and suspend all routines and simply be in the moment - and what a joy it has been!
Being present is something many people can find incredibly difficult. It does require some practise, as out monkey mind takes over, filling our heads with thoughts of the past and future. Letting go of those kinds of thoughts can be difficult but is worth working on because it can change the way we experience time.
The difference in my mum visiting me, entering my home and life, is that I’ve had more time to be with her than when I visited her in Australia. The tricky thing for those of us who live away from our family is any visit ‘home’ sees you pulled in many directions at once. Unless you are very aware of carving out space for yourself it can be stressful as competing demands on your time pile up. Saying no becomes an art -perhaps one not everyone can master.
In contrast, having someone come to my space allows me to prepare in advance, then spend all my time with them - of course, I’m lucky enough to have summers off with my work as a teacher. I did exactly this before my mum’s arrival - I prepped and planned. Having had no visitors for over two years meant getting our guest room ready (it needed a big clean out as my partner’s wonderful beer brewing hobby had taken over!), as well as some other small projects I wanted to complete, leaving the three weeks of her stay free to just be.
I planned only a few fixed things for her stay - a trip to Helsinki, midsummer weekend - and left the rest of the time for flexible happenings like bike riding and visiting some key tourist attractions here. The result has been over three weeks of long days, exploration, exercise, enjoying all sorts of weather, talking, relaxing, and meeting people. Three weeks of being being present, focusing on the moment, being in each other’s company. A true gift!
“Nothing is more precious than being in the present moment, fully alive, fully aware.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
We have travelled into the past, talking about our shared experiences - our travel as a family, stories of mine and my mum’s upbringing, shared memories and our different experiences of them - as well as planning for the future - a potential travel adventure for my significant birthday next year (50!). But the majority of the time we have sat, walked, swam together, cloud-watching, forest bathing, sight-seeing - soaking up experiences as time has stretched, three weeks seeming almost like months.
Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time — past and future — the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” ― Eckhart Tolle
In embracing the present moment - my sensations and emotions - I have changed time. I’ve had moment after moment of Now. This is the culmination of my last year’s work on Being. I’m finding the balance between doing and being. We’re human beings after all, not human doings! And even when I am ‘doing’ I’ve been concentrating on the sensations in my body, my feelings and surroundings. It’s a gift to myself that I’m so pleased to receive.
“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” — Alice Morse Earle
As I sit here, listening to the sounds of the builders next door, the odd screeching seagull, cars passing by, I am so very grateful that I’ve had these precious moments with my mum. She has moved on to her next moment, as have I - her to Germany, me sharing time with my next guests. I’m so glad I’ve able to savour every moment. Drink it all in. Now after Now.
Lisa x
Other Things
Reading
Two non-fiction books worth mentioning are Mindset by Carol Dweck and Glucose Revolution: The Life Changing Power of Balancing Your Blood Sugar by Jessie Inchauspé. I finally got around to reading Mindset after having it on my pile for well over a year. I’m familiar with much of Dweck’s philosophy from my work in teaching but it was interesting to read her actual words.Also interesting to note how her work has been distorted at times. Inchauspé’s book was insightful, backed by science and drawing on the latest studies. It’s changed the way I eat - or at least the order in which I eat foods.
Some Substack recommendations:
Consider supporting these writers, even by a free subscription. It encourages us to spread our wings! There’s a Substack app too, where you can read all your favourites in the one place.
Listening
My step-nephew alerted me to Shakey Graves, a musician from Texas. Check him out!
Thank you for the very kind mention, Lisa!! Very much appreciated. But more importantly: what a delight to read about the delightful days you had with your mum. Yes, going 'back home' can be a great experience with a lot of dilemma's.
What a wonderful visit you organized with your mom. So happy you had that time!! And thank you for the recommendation very much.