Much Needed Summer Rain

Reflections on summer and how to recharge

Clouds hanging in the summer sky

Summer is in full swing here on the Åland Islands. With tourist numbers reaching nearly 1 million, it’s a shock having so many people everywhere.

The main street has been blocked off for foot-traffic only, the market square has a few more stalls, and there’s constant stream of people walking up the wide esplanade we live on. The town has turned their energies to planting flowers instead of the winter job of spreading gravel.

Clouds hang in the sky, teasing us a little as vegetation gets drier and drier. We got some much-needed rain today but not enough. I can almost hear the plants and trees sighing but still yearning for more.

Much needed summer rain

It reminds me of home. I’ve lived through some parched years in Australia. Long term drought. Here, the lack of rain is noticeable after weeks rather than months. Grasses are now brown and brittle looking. Lush birch trees are dropping their leaves, turning yellow first as they flutter to the ground.

Summer for me this year is one of balancing work and rest. Because we’re planning to go to Australia in November for a few months I decided back in February to apply for a summer job.

Part of me finds it strange that I’m in the position of needing a summer job. When I lived in Australia I worked as a teacher and I had the summers off—part of working like a crazy person for the year.

Summer holidays coincide with Christmas in Australia (for those of you reading in the Northern hemisphere) and out school year follows the calendar year. I always loved the six or seven weeks I had to slow down (not before speeding up at first because…Christmas!) January was always long and slow with beach visits and poolside relaxing.

Since moving here I’ve had to adapt to a different seasonal rhythm. It’s taken time to adjust to my December birthday being in winter, to school starting in August, to semesters not terms, to having a flexible job that’s not permanent.

Adapting to a new culture, country, language, customs, seasons, and everything else has taken time and energy that I’ve perhaps not given myself enough credit for. I’ve often found myself striving for the next thing - the next word, job, workplace - rather than stopping frequently to reflect on how far I’ve come. Perhaps we’re all guilty of that sometimes.

Being kind to myself is something I’ve cultivated actively the past few years. Like many mothers, I spent many years never thinking about myself, dedicating all my time and energy to my children, family, job, students. Everything but myself. I knew in theory I needed to be kind to myself but it didn’t happen often in practice. Collapsing from exhaustion at the end of a school term was normal.

When I spent a day reading in the holidays, ignoring the chaos surrounding me I then spent a bit of time beating myself up for doing it. My body was screaming for more days but I felt like it wasn’t possible—who would pick up the mess?

Some days I’d pack a picnic, sun-shelter, sunscreen and the kids and we’d head to the beach or the pool I’d sit on my towel in the sun, soaking up the ozone in the air and the sound of the waves against the shore as the kids played for hours. Golden times when I could restore my energy. I’ve embraced nostalgia and re-created those Australian beach trips in my mind, burying my visualised toes on the warm sand as I listen to my memory’s sound of waves on the beach.

Listening to my inner self, not the head voice, but my body, my intuition, is becoming routine as I become conscious and mindful of where I put my attention. It doesn’t mean that I don’t feel tired - I’ve stretched myself a little thin the past few weeks as I’ve balanced life. And it doesn’t mean I don’t go down the rabbit hole of social media - because that happens! But I am more conscious of my body’s signals, and I’m learning to use a range of tools to figure out just what it’s trying to tell me.

We’ve contracted a little, my partner and I, despite the beautiful summer inviting us to expand. We’ve needed to retreat from the world and into nature, giving only small parts of ourselves away to others to ensure we don’t become spread thin and brittle.

As I finish this piece of writing, the rain has moved on and the lushness of summer is back. Plants have revived to glow again, birch trees looking less stressed, holding on to their leaves in relief.

If you look carefully, you’ll see the bee

I’m left wondering why this summer has a different feel to previous summers. Perhaps it’s because I’m working. I haven’t quite relaxed yet because I know work demands my energy— I’m nervous that in relaxing I might lose energy before my reserves fill again so I never quite let go. Maybe it’s because June was so warm and intense, unusual here, that it feels like the glorious summer will end quickly. Maybe it’s because we’ve drawn firm boundaries in our lives, choosing not to participate in the usual family events at Midsummer to save our energy, so summer hasn’t been marked by the usual rituals.

I’m practising focusing on each day rather than submit to the rising panic that summer will soon be over. I don’t know if I’ve had to quell those fears before and I’m not sure why they’ve risen this year. More questions for me to ponder as watch the trees wave in the soft summer breeze.

Wherever you are in the world, I hope you have taken time to watch the trees wave in the breeze - summer or winter.

Until next time…

Stay well,

Lisa x

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Welcome!

A very warm welcome to my new subscribers! I’ve been writing here on Substack since 2019 and now there are over 100 of you who read Northern Notes. I escaped here from the noise of Medium (another writing platform for those of you who haven’t heard of it) where I was active for a few years. You might like this post:

A Twisted, Winding Career Path

I am so grateful to everyone who takes the time to read these posts. It’s my quiet whispering to the world. Thank you for being a part of it.

Lx

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I’m watching

If it’s available in your region, check out Run Rabbit Run, a new Australian film. It was written by Hannah Kent (author of Burial Rites, The Good People, and Devotion) and filmed in the town I went to high school in, Waikerie. It stars Sarah Snook, of Succession fame, who is brilliant to watch in this psychological thriller.

I’m Reading

I’ve just finished Enchantment by

Katherine May

~ she echoes so many of the thoughts I’ve been having and feelings I’ve been feeling in this wonderful book.

Also check out:

Sacred Living

#4 The Reset