Gatherings with Friends

The joy of planning & preparing, and spending time with others

A meal we recently shared - but not ‘the meal’! | Photo by the author

This week we met up with some friends.

It doesn’t happen very often anymore. (Thanks, Pandemic.)

As my family and friends in Melbourne entered their sixth lockdown, I was sitting in my apartment on the other side of the world, planning a dinner with friends.

I’d forgotten how much I enjoy the preparation and planning of a special dinner. It’s happened so seldom over the past year. I can count on one hand the dinners I’ve prepared to share with others. I hadn’t realised I’d missed it until I started planning this one.

It wasn’t a special occasion. It was quite simply dinner for the sake of catching up. I had offered to make dinner and bring it to them because they have a little girl who is full of beans - and let’s face it, for those of you who have had/have small children, there’s nothing quite like someone bringing you dinner!

I started planning the meal at the start of the week. I left about 200kg of cookbooks behind when I moved country, and mostly use good old Google to find recipes, but I’d recently purchased a cookbook dedicated to all things barbecue (and Thermomix). The pleasure of thumbing through an actual cookbook is something I will never tire of, despite not having many anymore. It’s just not the same experience scrolling through recipes on your phone with ads popping up and videos exploding onto your screen.

So I flipped through my new recipe book, finding new and exciting dishes to make for my friends. I wrote a list on a post-it note, complete with page numbers, checked my pantry, then started the shopping list. I planned each step I needed to take on each day of the week, with a list of recipes I’d make ahead of time and which I’d make on the day.

The whole process was incredibly satisfying.

I pondered. Just why was it? Why did I enjoy the picking, planning, preparing of this meal I was to share? It was days in the planning. Not arduous at all, really enjoyable. A pleasure I’d been missing. A loss I hadn’t noticed.

I recently listened to an interview Brenè Brown did with a woman called Priya Parker. Parker has written a book called The Art of Gathering: How we meet and why it matters. Never has this been so timely.

Now that we can’t meet as often as we used to, there is something so special about the gatherings we do make time for. Whether it be online via video, chatting with others (the uptake on the audio platform Clubhouse is an excellent example of how much we need connections like this), or in person, this pandemic has highlighted the importance of community. The importance of getting together with people for a reason, with purpose.

In one of my current reads, Brown writes about the importance of connection, belonging, and community in her book The Gifts of Imperfection. We need connection and community. We need to join with others, to share laughter, music, and food. We need courage, compassion, and connection. We need to be seen, heard and valued. We are wired for connection. Our souls crave it!

Our particular gathering was to spend time with people whose company we enjoy. We’re different ages but share similar experiences, interests, and senses of humour. And for any working couple with a small child (like our friends), where time is full of work, washing, cleaning, reading stories, playing, commuting, juggling it all, having a meal delivered is gold…I remember!

So we brought the food, packed in containers, prepared thoughtfully, and with great joy! I took over their kitchen and barbecue, chatting and laughing as the meat cooked and I put the finishing touches on the sides. Everything tasted delicious, but even better because we shared it with friends.

So despite the Pandemic, or perhaps, even because of it, gatherings have become extra special moments. Something to break the monotony of our own walls and space. Something to mark time, to create memories, to enrich our lives.

I just hope that I’ll soon be able to venture a little further, head home to gatherings with my family on the other side of the planet.

Lisa x

What gatherings or moments have you cherished in the past 18 months? What simple occasions have you cherished? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Simply reply to this email newsletter or comment below.

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What else is happening?

Reading:

So far this year I’ve read 50 books. I’ve really enjoyed an incredible mix of fiction, non-fiction and poetry. Some standouts:

Cassandra Speaks: When Women are the Storytellers the Human Story Changes by Elizabeth Lesser - the incredible thing about this book is that it articulated what I have felt for years. My background is in History, I’ve taught History in high schools. I often told students that History has very often been his-story. I’ve tried to focus on the everyday person, on women. Even on the defeated rather than the victors. This book draws together so many threads that I have followed throughout my life. I highly recommend it - and will be dipping into again and again!

Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell - What an absolutely divine book! It was the 2020 Winner of The Women’s Prize for Fiction and deservedly so. O’Farrell has a special place in my heart after I had the joy and privilege of teaching The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox, and Hamnet simply cemented that place. To imagine the story of a son who died early, to a man we all know (Shakespeare) is no easy task, yet her beautiful descriptions of daily life and experiences during a time where plagues were a regular (and terrifying!) occurrence had me reminding myself it was a work of fiction. Please check it out and let me know your thoughts!

Writing:

I’m working on my photo-poetry collection, called Textures. It’s been a work-in-progress for a while but I am knuckling down this month. Stay tuned for further updates and check out my Instagram for a little sneak peek.

Here are some recent poems: I Stand Here, An Island, On Changing Wings, Quid Pro Quo. Plus a 6-word story. I wrote some flash fiction too: How To Control Time.

I’ve taken some great photos this summer and this photo story, Reflections of Summer, might make you want to come here when the world opens up!

Social:

I have recently changed my Instagram handle to better reflect what I’m doing. Find me on Insta @lisabolinwrites - It’s the same account and I’ll still be using my old name as a hashtag in my posts.

Connection:

I am a part of an amazing global network of women called The Garden of Neuro. We are all about sharing ideas, knowledge, joy, pain and life. We meet up via video for talks about books, big issues, daily life. It’s all about having a brave and safe space to nurture each other. If you’re interested in hearing more or want to check out this lovely space, reply to this email or comment below.

Thanks for reading!

After Midnight | photo by the author - see Reflections of Summer link above