As Long As It Takes
Sometimes you just have to be patient
How long does it take to adapt to change?
I think the answer is: as long as it takes.
Dear You,
I’ve been going through my archive. I discovered I have 30 drafts in my folder! Wowsers! What a surprise! I spend so much time in my other publication,
, that I forget this gorgeous place was where it all started.What is lovely about finding archival pieces that I’ve never released into the world is that I can now have a dialogue with past me. As current-me sits at my desk in our spare room, with so much more knowledge and experience.
Past me was hopeful her business would be a success. She enjoyed a summer at a new workplace, but she didn’t return to it. Past me has many of the same feelings as current me. And here I go, talking about myself in the third person! But much has changed, yet much is still the same. I’ve leaned into myself more. I’ve shed more layers of me that weren’t me. Perhaps that’s part of the Great Unravelling, the peri-menopausal, menopausal, post-menopausal (hellish) life where I give fewer shits about a whole lot of things.
Life continues to be more harmonious, but only after some pretty rocky and revolting times. Because that’s life. It’s undulating, unclear, the contraction and expansion of ourselves. The good, the flucked up, the beautiful and joyous. All of it.
So keep reading, dear you, to take a glimpse into my life in 2023. When I was still in my forties.
Lisa x
Summer 2023 | Åland Islands
Having lived here for nearly six years, it’s only recently that I’ve started to feel like life has a more harmonious flow to it.
I’m comfortable enough with the Swedish language now that I can do small talk —a huge milestone!
When I first arrived, my Swedish was pretty rusty, with 20+ years of not speaking it from when I first learned as a 17-year-old. I often felt stressed in groups when there was a lot of speaking and background noise. If I missed the ends of words, my brain didn’t know enough to fill them in (something I can still have trouble with), so I couldn’t join in group conversations. It was strange, being silenced by a lack of language when I’m otherwise quite articulate in my native language.
I have a broad lexicon now, helped by the wide array of jobs I’ve had, plus school subjects that I haven’t even taught in Australia (like maths, physics, biology and chemistry!) I’ve even started to pick up the odd word of Finnish, which to my eyes looks almost incomprehensible with too many double vowels and consonants. It’s not a big lexicon - maybe 20 or so words - but that, too, feels like a milestone.
Adapting to a different culture has its challenges, and it’s interesting just how much people can take for granted. It’s usually small things, like routines in a workplace or ways of doing things that are obvious to them but foreign to me. I’ve asked questions many times, to be met with: “I’ve never thought about that,” or “Don’t you do it like that where you come from?”
Often, people are glad to have things questioned; others aren’t so open to other ways of thinking or doing things, which can be difficult sometimes. There can be gaps in understanding when two people are meeting with different assumptions or experiences, kind of like plugging an Australian appliance into a European socket. It doesn’t work!
Dealing with this on an almost daily basis has been taxing on my energy—something that I’m glad to notice has improved with time.
I’ve had many different jobs and workplaces since I arrived here in 2017. I’m currently working at Bomarsund’s Visitor Centre*, a new centre built at the historic site of Bomarsund. It’s my eighth workplace in nearly six years. And the first place where I look forward to coming to work.
It’s easy for us to constantly compare—it’s what we humans do. And we do it well, sometimes to our detriment. Comparing the past with the present can help, I guess, but it can sometimes miss the growth phases, glossing over points in life that are significant or expanding.
With a little perspective, I now realise that I struggled to feel at home in many of the workplaces here because of issues with communication and my inner tension in needing to understand and feel comfortable communicating. Every new environment comes with a whole lexicon of new words to learn, new names to remember, and a new and often confusing workplace culture.
In recent months, I’ve felt like some of that inner tension has been released. I feel more comfortable when asking for clarification, perhaps because it happens less. There’s less overwhelm in regards to what I don’t understand.
I laugh more easily. Feel lighter in spirit.
Of course, summer will do that for you. The explosion of life and colour, the long days and twilight nights. It’s invigorating and uplifting.
New possibilities and explorations are also invigorating. The possibilities, the potential. My new venture, Flourish, is out there in the world. All my skills, knowledge and experience have led me to this point in time. A new, shiny idea that’s been a lifetime in the making.
As I look out at lush green birch leaves bursting into life, at birds circling in the sky and twittering in branches, and at the glistening water, the positive and uplifting scent of the air is enough to encourage me and lift my spirits.
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