A Long Journey

Personal Space, Homecomings, and Hugs

Altona Dog Beach, Victoria, Australia | by Lisa Bolin, March 2022

As I write this, I am sitting on the balcony at my sister’s place. The sun is warm - a hot day is promised. Birds are singing and twittering. The air is warm. I’m in Australia.

Joyous!

I’ve thought of this moment often, over the past few years. Embracing my family, going to the beach, feeling the sun warm my skin, listening to Australian birds - magpies, kookaburras, lorrakeets. Like so many people, COVID-19 meant putting any travel plans on hold - until now.

It was strange, travelling again. The airports weren’t empty but they ceratinly weren’t at peak capacity. Everyone wore masks (except at Arlanda Airport in Sweden). I’d forgotton the routines I’d had pre-covid - what did I need to take out and show at which point? Which pockets in my bag had I put my essentials and my travel documents? And new things - like how many masks should I take?

By the time I reached Melbourne I had quickly acclimatised to being with large groups of people in small spaces. The reaction I’d felt in my body when I went to the first gate - a glassed in room not made for pandemic conditions - was surprising. The anxiety came swiftly and I kept it at bay by focusing on my breath. I’ve become used to not being around large groups of people, and certainly not in enclosed spaces. I was a little worried about how I’d go on a plane next to strangers - my aisle seat gave me a little repreive.

For the first leg - a six hour flight to Dubai - I sat next to a woman who had no sense of personal space at all. Living in Finland, there have always been jokes and memes about social distancing so in a pandemic it was like Finns were in their natural state. Obviously this has rubbed off on me because I just couldn’t believe this person next to me felt so comfortable spreadeagled in her seat, spilling over to my side with her legs and arms. As I made myself small, she expanded. When we stood up at the end of the flight, she reached my shoulder in height. How did such a small person take up so much space?!

Thankfully, the second leg of the trip - a twelve-and-a-half hour flight, made and hour-and-a-half longer by a delay in leaving - was less eventful on the personal space challenges. I was fairly delirious by that point anyway, so maybe that helped. I contemplated how quickly we get used to things, and the flying metal tube I was in - chock full of people - became a little less confronting than at the start of my journey.

So now I am back - to the place of my birth, the place I’ve lived most of my life. This past 26 months has been the longest I’ve been away. Now I’m here, things have changed, yet haven’t. My internal map has become a little fuzzier and I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable driving here (yet). Certainly not without a map! People have gotten a little older, my children especially. To hug them, know they’re close by, is a lovely feeling.

I’ve got more reunions to look forward to - hugging my mum, seeing long-time friends, those loved ones I keep in close touch with and those I haven’t seen for many years. So many hugs! So I’d better get used to close contact with others.

The jetlag is making me a little fuzzy in the head. My thoughts aren’t as clear as I’d like and my normal routines are out the window. But I’m here. And it feels like life can get back to a little of what looks like normal - the new normal.

Stay Well,

Lisa x

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Other Things:

Reading

I’ve just finished a fabulous novel called Terra Nullius by Claire G Coleman. It’s set in Australia and I don’t want to reveal any spoilers, but there’s a “Woah!” point in the book that just blew my mind. You’ll just have to read it.

I’ve just started reading Jane Eyre’s Sisters: How Women Live and Write the Heroine’s Story by Jody Gentian Bower. As I’ve struggled to finish Joseph Campbell’s Hero With A Thousand Faces, I’m already nodding my head and agreeing with Bower. It’s a timely read with International Women’s Day coming up on Tuesday 8th March.

Watching

The long plane trip meant I could catch a few movies. I mostly read or slept but I did see Ridley Scott’s new film, The Last Duel. I love Jody Comer - she’s been fabulous in everything I’ve seen her in. Adam Driver is a lead too and he’s good. The rest of the cast was a bit strange - Matt Damon with a mullet, his mate Ben Affleck with dyed blond goatee and hair. It’s set in France in the 1300s and is based on a real story but I just found the American accents hard to take (except Comer with her very British accent and who is generally fabulous at accents, as we’ve seen in Killing Eve). The story itself is fascinating and it’s told from three different perspectives - also clever. Overall, I liked the film, but the casting still puzzles me.

Events for Women

Garden Book Chat is coming up this Wednesday - two times to cater for the world. If you’d like to join in, reply to this email or drop a comment.

Submissions:

• Transformational Moments - you can publish them in the Garden of Neuro Medium publication or submit to the anthology to be published later in the year. Check the website for details.

• The Talk, Conversations between Mothers and Sons of Colour continues.

  The first call for submission was called The Talk, Conversations between Black Mothers and Sons which stemmed from a book launch with sisters Chyrel Jackson and Lyris Wallace discussing ‘poetic contemporary modern verse’ in their book Mirrored Images. (Instagram @2Sistersrocnrhyme) Submissions close April 30th. Check the website for details.